And in the mix of all the blur and forgetfulness sometimes I feel like I am one of many who have expectations of them-selves. (I have always been one of those anxious types btw who too expects a lot out of themselves) I too have realized that our society really does expect so much of ourselves. WHY? Perhaps because we visually see so many people in the world (ones who even are strangers) doing so many amazing things from our phones non-the-less. At least from a picture standpoint we forget that low and behold there is a full sink of dishes that still needs attention, items on the counter that need to be put away, clutter everywhere and a lot of boxes that yet have been gone through from a move. (that's me) But yet the picture that typically is shown is PERFECT in the eyes of a viewer because all those other things were NOT being photographed at the time.
A long while back, probably in the mist of early motherhood blues, I started thinking holy crap! Am I doing enough? And then I started second guessing myself and my abilities as a person, mom and wife. And then I was like HOLD THE PHONE, and had to have some personal self-talk about reality in that moment. The reality was, no ones life is PERFECT. No one only has picture perfect moments with their perfect little families. No ones houses stay 100% clean every second of the day. No-ones kids' poop smells like roses and all kids look like ragamuffins somedays. Most all moms have a melt-downs at some point, and dinner isn't always cooked when dad comes home. Life in itself really isn't always perfectly manageable. It takes a lot of effort day-to-day to just try and DO YOUR BEST.
Since moving into our new home and considering it's the beginning of a new year, I really have decided that my determination isn't to make my life look perfect. It's to DO MY BEST juggling all the hats that I am currently carrying. Not try and add a whole lot more, but manage the ones I have currently. And to say to no a little bit more so I'm not feeling like I'm biting off more than I can chew like I normally do often. And be able to stick to the hobbies not "distractions" I truly enjoy and am passionate about.
I may often still be a hotmess, but I know I have been actively working on just doing my best and that being good enough. And I truly am starting to believe that it is enough and what I do day-to-day is enough. Possibly to much and can find ways of sifting through the things that adds less rich value to my life. Again, it's simply enough.
Recently one of my favorite shows came back on TV, Nashville (anyone a fan?) I can't tell you how happy I was when CMT added it back. I am really a fan of country music and I'm sure a fan of the singers and their voices mixed in with the drama that ended so suddenly. I just wanted them to at least have a good plot to end on. Anyway, I feel it's funny that I have had this topic on my mind for a while and then all of the sudden, a new lyric and chorus was being put together as such, "All ya gotta do, all ya gotta be is YOUR best. Keep spinning at the world, dancing to beat in your chest. What goes comes around, don't forget. All you gotta do, all you gotta be is YOUR best."
Let this be our year, hotmess or not to focus on just doing OUR personal best. Shouldn't that be all we should expect of ourselves? If we did our best doing the things in our day that truly matter and make our life the most full, remembering to let go of the idea that perfection isn't the key to life, I think we all would be more content and happy. My husband always says things like, "life should be living fully in the perfection of simple moments undocumented with the family and friends you have, Instead of trying to achieve somebody else's version and idea of a perfect life, home and family. Not to mention how it shouldn't have to look perfect from a screen." I think he's right. (he helps me stay grounded) I really never want people to assume my crap is always together, because the truth is, it's not. I do like to create pretty things and take pictures of pretty spaces, but NEVER forget I probably have a hamper full of dirty laundry that really need some attending to. More than ever, I am hoping to make this year more about living in the moment and capturing the idea that the imperfect moments of life really and truly are what make life more meaningful and real. And that essentially is perfection in itself.
Let's all make today great just trucking along and doing our best. Hotmess or not.
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