What if you knew your child's future before he or she was even born? How long would he stay with you; what he or she would be like in life; what he or she's profession would be; what impact he or she would make on the world; how it would all end?
For me, I guess I never really thought about what could "actually" be in store for our baby boy, but I knew "his dad and I" had big plans for him. It's interesting how one little baby who I hardly had a chance to get to know made such an impact on our lives and many lives around us.
Since it is Christmas time and how I long to still be pregnant. Anticipating the birth of our baby which should have been in January; I can't help but think about the life of Mary. Especially after finding this beautiful watercolor art work, which is now in my home. Yes, I know I am not exactly like Mary; however, I feel I was somewhat of a "choice" mother who is learning to bear the weight of having a "special choice," angel baby and son who was so valiant and so pure to now be living in the presence of our Savior Jesus Christ. Not having to withstand the trials and tribulations of this life here on earth. Oh how we miss him and cry often because we wish so badly he could be here with us. However, I am thankful to know he is in the loving arms of such a valiant man like himself, "The Prince of Peace." I also hope that sweet Mary or a mother figure was able to give our sweet baby a love and a hug from us when his spirit left this earth. The art work above makes me think of me embracing Bode and missing that opportunity to still embrace his sweet little body. I also have really pondered upon Mary embracing her babe, the Savior once he was born. What a blessing and a sweet "gift" the Savior was to her and is to all the world. Just like Bode was to us and his loved ones.
Mary is such a hero to me. Since Bode's passing and now that it is that time of year where "Christ" mas is and should be spent learning more about our savior, I can't but feel the need to learn more about Mary. I somehow feel I can relate to her in a small way. She truly has so much to teach us. And I feel we all as women of all ages can learn soooooo much from her. Even just by her example.
I can't even imagine the amount of faith it must have taken to take heed to the counsel of Angel Gabriel. She never doubted or wavered from his announcement. She just trusted and believed, then acted upon what he reported was in store for her and baby Jesus.
I truly can't believe how amazing her testimony must have been to know that life existed on the other side of the veil just as much as it did on her side. She displayed no need to gather her faith that an angel actually existed. She already understood that Angel Gabriel was a spirit just like her; both with divine potential. Mary must have been so humbled to believe that she could fulfill such a divine calling of his mother and vessel.
This is where I feel I can relate. Being the vessel of a baby who "just needed a body" isn't easy. I yearn to watch him grow. Just as I imagine that Mary as a mother wanted to see Jesus grow and develop his gifts and talents. I truly am grateful to know and believe that my babies spirit and those others I love and adore who have passed on are so close. They ARE all around us, but because of the veil we just cannot see them. I am grateful for tender mercies of a loving Father of Heaven. I have had so many moments when I have thought of him and felt him near. I pray daily for those experiences each and every day. I am sure for the rest of my life until I get to see him again in heaven.
One thing I admire so much about Mary is her purity. "To a virgin, espoused to a man." (Luke 1:27), "And I beheld the city of Nazareth; and in the city of Nazareth I beheld a virgin (1 Nephi 11:13). And it was her purity that qualified her for this sacred role. If she would have lost her purity, she would have forfeited this opportunity. I wonder how hard Satan had worked on her, as he by no means wanted the Savior of the World to be born. He must have constantly been trying to ruin God's amazing "plan." Because Mary was so pure in heart, mind, and strength. It brought her great power. And the confidence that comes when we feel pure in heart and of worth before God, would impact how she felt before the Angel and in accepting her calling. I imagine that in the preexistence I just wanted to come to earth so badly that I "confidently" raised my hand and said I can handle what ever comes my way, send me. Even if losing a baby and child was apart of it. Since we lost Bode, I have noticed a huge change in me. I feel even though this seems like the worst thing that could ever happen to a family, even something that can and has torn couples apart; I have been so humbled. I also have felt courageous, yet so weak and timid all at the same time. So I admire Mary and her confidence to move forward even with so many unknowns. I hope I can continue to strive to be pure in heart, mind and strength. Not to mention, confident like her as we mentally prepare to "try" again and listen to the promptings and impressions of our Heavenly Father on our life's journey as individuals and as a couple.
I do believe that Satan already has tried so hard to put FEAR in my way. I also know Satan wants us to feel discouraged. He doesn't want us to "try again." One thing I do know through my life experiences thus far is that Faith comes from a loving Father in heaven, not fear. Fear comes from Satan. He doesn't want us to be courageous people and move towards the things that seem challenging or unknown, even if they were opportunities that our Heavenly Father guided us towards. I hope I can always remember Mary and her good works and virtue, but most importantly her faith.
Remember the "gift," our loving Savior, and also remember his amazing mother Mary this Christmas season. Let her life of womanhood and motherhood be an example to follow. I am grateful for our loving Savior; The Prince of Peace. May all your Christmas' be filled with love this year.
ps. if you love this art illustration of Mary and baby Jesus as much as I do. I found a FREE 5x7 download at http://cherishinghopesanddreams.com This woman and families blog is darling. She is so talented. So glad I stumbled upon it. This art work is now a cherished piece in my home all year round.
Click here to download. Mary and Baby Jesus